Now that most of us Moms are tightening our belt as we ride the financial rollercoaster, (or is it more like riding Drop Zone?) we are spending less time at the mall shopping. What are you doing with the time you used to spend on accumulating THINGS?
I hope you are using that time on other things such as personal growth, (now is a great time to learn to face change bravely) and building your relationship with your loved ones. I’ll address personal growth for moms in my next blog. Today, let’s look at your relationship with your daughter.
First, some mom’s are saying they feel guilty over not being able to provide things as they used to for their daughters. This is understandable. There is great joy in being able to give our girls things that make them happy. The problem is, most of us are conditioned to think of and measure happiness in terms of possessions.
Happiness is a state of mind, not a toy chest brimming with goodies. This is a good time to help your daughter learn about self-fulfillment through other means than accumulating things. It’s a good time for you to learn how to unplug from the belief that things buy happiness.
Second, if you are used to showing your daughter how much you love her by giving her things, it may be very challenging to replace the shopping with a meaningful expression of affection. This is a fabulous time to learn how to be with your daughter in a way that she feels loved and accepted by you. Start by just having some simple conversations with her. Become curious about who she is, what her dreams are. Get to know her! But, be careful! Make sure you are listening and not lecturing, or giving unasked for advice when she talks. Simply listen and let her truth be her truth.
Third, go play. PLAY is a vital ingredient for your teens growing brain, yet play is disappearing in our culture. Reconnect your daughter back to fun things that can make her use her imagination or make her giggle. I have a whole book (I’m writing it as fast as I can!) of free or inexpensive things you can do with your daughter so she feels loved and her brain grows. Way too much to blog about. If you want more ideas and tips please email me. I am also creating a teleseminar for moms about free or inexpensive things to do to help your daughter.
Showing love doesn’t mean spending a lot of money. It means spending time. Giving from your heart, not from your wallet. It means being brave enough to face the changes going on in the world and to make some changes in your relationships. Money comes and goes. Love lasts forever.